What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

you...

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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