One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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