When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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