2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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