A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops