A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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