A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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