What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

Black people being friendly.

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

whats yellow after cani...nathan

Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

Can midgets still have big dreams?

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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