A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

UN

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a blonde walks into a wall...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops