Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops