- Anti Joke

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

ask me if i am a tree. no.

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

I'm Batman.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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