How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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I love pissing people off :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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