What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

thumb_up thumb_down +11

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops