How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Rebecca Black

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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Justin beiber's penis

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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all the kids had fun

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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