You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Pull my finger ouch..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wommmoaooammaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops