Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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