how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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