Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Penis chickens

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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2 + 2 = fish

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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