Q: knok knok A: Im home

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

Maths.

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

Penis

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

Turkey Balls

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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