Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

thumb_up thumb_down -17

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

thumb_up thumb_down -17

q

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

3 like an eel

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops