How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Lewis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than World War II? World War III.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops