How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

Microwave

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

=3

Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

Vote this down and get DOXED

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

cats are pussies

Your mom is so nice.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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