Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

A Duck walks into a bar.

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...