what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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A black student graduated High School

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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