My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

-knock knock! -doors open

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...