Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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