One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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