5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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A women in the kitchen.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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