Get on the boat.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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