Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Tucker Rivera

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops