What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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