- Anti Joke

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels