What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

Banana Hamock.

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

Justin Bieber

Why did the man die? He was old.

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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