Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

Womens basketball

I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

How does shit taste?\ Good.

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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