Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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