Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

Dear crush, I want to drink you

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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