What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

thumb_up thumb_down +18

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops