Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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smell the vitamin C

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops