what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Gay's

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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