Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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