Y

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler, who? Be quiet and hand over your Jews!

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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