Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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