Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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my mind's eye?

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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What did death say to life? Go die

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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