Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops