So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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