Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road ? because half way acroos he got hit by a car and the animal heath care had to take him away and put him down

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops