Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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what's up? my penis.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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