How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Politics

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Chris Bosh's neck

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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Dusters blow stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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