How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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PENIS

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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