Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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69

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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