The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops